Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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