Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
