i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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