there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
