im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
