i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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