doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
