I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
