How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
