I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
