I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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