go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
