i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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