Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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