just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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