I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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