worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on