hell yes lets make some ravioli
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't deserve a penis
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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