If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
