ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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