Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
