Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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