We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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