I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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