we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
