So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
