My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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