how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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