found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
