Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
