Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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