so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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