Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
