Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
