So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
