so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
