Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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