hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm both gender and math confused
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
