There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
