Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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