True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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