Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?