My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize