ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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