talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
