I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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