My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
