I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
