And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
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How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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