Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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