So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
