My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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