i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm always down for nudity.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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