Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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