how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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