you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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