worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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