hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
