should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
