Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
