Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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