Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
