I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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