State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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