wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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