apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
