no, he came in my armpit
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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