Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
