she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
