i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
