hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
