So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
