You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
