dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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