Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
